Ministry Lessons: The Importance of Positive Touch

As an adult working with people half my age, it can be easy to allow the age difference to create a relational gap. I determined a long time ago to blow that out of the water. If I know a student, I rarely settle for a handshake. I always bring them in for the hug. They need the positive contact, it helps build the relationship, and it communicates I care which opens the door for them to come to me when they need to talk.

What I’ve found is that everybody at some level craves positive touch. For those who are not quite there yet, I don’t push it one them, but I know the day will come when they’ll let me in. When the male students show up to Bible study, it’s so awesome to stand back and watch them come in. As soon as they come in the front door, I watch their eyes scan the room looking for me. They make a bee-line straight for me to give me a big hug and tell me about their week. It’s incredibly rewarding that we’ve added this to our culture at our Bible study.

Bonus points: Since we have a caring culture in our Bible study, it’s easy to carry that on to new people. They see the hug happening with the guys who brought them. The second or third time they come when the hug comes their way, it’s not a surprise or strange. It’s just what we do.

Extra bonus points: The best way to grow our ministry is word of mouth. When students have an environment of caring that isn’t separated by the generation gap, they tend to talk about it with their friends. We’ve created an environment they want to invite their friends to.

Clarification: I specifically mentioned giving guys hugs. I intentionally am a little reserved with the girls. I will give them the side hug if they come in for one. If they run up and give me a hug, I don’t stop them. However, I believe keeping positive touch limited to your gender as much as possible is wise.

Disclaimer: Of course, it’s not all about the positive touch, there’s got to be some substance taking them deeper spiritually and challenging them. If it’s all fluff and Kum-Ba-Yah, the positive touch won’t be enough of a culutre on its own. The culture of positive touch only opens the door for a deeper connection which we use to help them grow spiritually and deal with issues.