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Dennis

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Video Interview: Tom Shares Insight About Being a Small Group Leader

This is part 3 of a 4-part interview with Tom and Marla. In this segment, Tom, a 16-year veteran volunteer, answers questions and gives great advice about teaching a small group of high school boys.

Here are links to the other videos in this series:
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Be sure to also check out the brief comments below the video.

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There are a few things I love about this video series:
– It was videotaped by a student volunteer. This was a great way for him to see some of the heart behind what we do as leaders.
– The video is not professional… much like our service as volunteers. The interview isn’t polished, the camera is shaky, and there are no makeup artists. It’s just regular folks talking about a mutual passion: reaching out to students through ministry
– It’s a good start for other topical interviews to be done in the future

How Does Saddleback Church Do Small Groups?

Hey Dennis!

My name is Kate. I’m a volunteer with a youth ministry here at St. Paul UMC in Jacksonville, FL. I’ve been reading your blog for a while now – I got hooked from More Than Dodgeball. I hated being a teenager and so I find it incredibly strange that I’m helping and LOVING working with youth now. But God is pretty funny and awesome!

I actually have a question for you about small groups – I know you lead a small group (I’m passing on your What Parents Need to Know article on to the youth pastor I work with).

I was wondering how it [our small group ministry] was structured? Do you have co-ed small groups, are they sometimes separated by gender, is it by grade, etc? What structure do you think works best?

Thanks!

I love reading a blog from another youth volunteer’s perspective!

Kate

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Kate,

Thanks! You made my day.

It’s funny what you write about being surprised to be working with students. I specifically didn’t want to work with students, either. I thought I’d be working with adults somewhere in a small rural church as a pastor. Here I am in a suburb mega church working with students… and loving every minute of it. How ironic is life at times?

Here are some details about our small group program:

• Students can choose Tuesday or Wednesday night
• All small groups are based on gender. Most are limited to students in the same grade. When I graduated my seniors a few years ago, I decided to take their little brothers and make a small group with them. That meant I had a group of guys in different grades. Even though they’ve all graduated, I still have a mixed group of grades
• I try to keep my group made up guys from the same school. As a volunteer, it’s too difficult to keep up with activities of students from 5 different schools
• I usually recruit small group students from the my camp cabin guys at summer camp. I ask the high school staff to only give me guys from my area high school. They do their best to accommodate this request. Small groups are a natural next step for students who go to summer camp. Throughout the week, I nudge them to join a group if they aren’t already in one. I tell them I don’t care if they’re in mine, but I do care that they get in a small group. It’s an easy sell because small groups are like camp cabin time except they go home to sleep in their own beds after and I actually get to go to sleep without the hour-long process of getting them to gradually quiet down
• We meet at the church for the 1st month. After that, small groups move into homes
• Many small groups have only 1 small group in their home. I choose to have three small groups. 2 are for guys, 1 is for girls
• We have a large group time with games, trivia or a video. We conclude large group time with a lesson opener and prayer. I keep this fresh by mixing it up from week-to-week as creatively as I can
• Last year we began holding hands in a big circle and praying for a student in our group dealing with a brain tumor. It was very touching to see students praying and caring for one of our own. Since that time, prayer has become a much more substantial part of our large group time. It’s been awesome and students have taken great ownership over this
• In small group time, we teach curriculum provided by the ministry staff
• Each small group leader adjusts the curriculum to their own teaching style and specific needs of the group
• Sometimes the curriculum isn’t very good. When that happens, I’ll take the bottom line of the lesson and teach on the topic, but in a way that better suits my students’ needs
• Small group teaching for us (when it’s done right) is more of a discussion than it is me teaching while students listen

You asked which structure I think works best. I have only done it this way. I wouldn’t ever do it any other way, though (at least not by choice). When our ministry transitioned to one group per home a few years ago, mine was the only location that kept 3 groups in the home. Now the ministry as a whole is trending back that direction.

Here are some thoughts on co-ed vs. same-gender groups:

• Starting with a co-ed group gives our students some healthy interaction with other students from their school in a Christian environment.
• Our small groups are designed to serve two purposes in the Purpose Driven model: 80% Fellowship and 20% Discipleship. During the co-ed large group, Fellowship is a big part of the goal
• Fellowship, however, also has a deeper level. That’s what happens in small groups. That’s where accountability can take place and students can feel safe about opening up. If these groups were co-ed, deeper fellowship wouldn’t likely happen.
• Discipleship, also, happens better without the distraction of the opposite sex. I’m not saying discipleship can’t happen in a co-ed group. However, the less distractions, the better.

Bonus thoughts you didn’t ask for:

• We meet from 7:00 – 9:00. The first 30 minutes is for students to arrive and entertain themselves. The house where we meet has a pool table. It NEVER gets used for pool. The kids have developed their own game called SCUM. They play it every week without fail. Super crazy and fun.
• I try to provide snacks, but the kids don’t cry if there’s none. A couple of times a year we’ll do a big potluck just to mix it up a little. We’ll invite the students to show up at 6:30 so we’ll have a little extra time for fun.
• This might not be true for girls groups, but it’s difficult to get guys groups to focus for the hour we have small group. Because of this, I tell them the first 20 minutes is for messing around. What I don’t tell them is that the best relational part of small group happens during that first 20 minutes. During the remaining 40 minutes, I have a much easier time of keeping their attention focused on the topic of the night. For some of the stuff we do during that 20 minutes, check out the “Just For Fun” link on the left side of my blog. Look specifically at “Hate Calls”. Click here to see a couple of videos of us doing them. It’s a super fun and great follow up for those who don’t show up.

Okay… I humbly apologize. I’m sure you didn’t expect me to give you so much reading. However, you gave me a great blog post. I’m going to post this on my blog under “Ask A Volunteer”.

Thanks so much for reading my blog and for passing the post “What Parents Need To Know” on to your youth pastor.

Let’s keep the discussion going. I would love to read your ideas. Also, if you have anything you’d like to post on my blog, I’m always looking for guest posts. I don’t have much in that area right now. I’d love to have the thoughts of others on my blog, too.

Have a great day!

Dennis

Video Interview: Veteran Advice For New Volunteer Youth Workers

This is part 1 of a 4-part interview with Tom and Marla. Before leaving after several years of service in our student ministry, we sat together to discuss what they’ve learned about youth ministry and what they would tell new volunteers. Look for the second segment to be posted next week.

Here are links to the videos in this series:
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Be sure to also check out the brief comments below the video.

___

There are a few things I love about this video series:
– It was videotaped by a student volunteer. This was a great way for him to see some of the heart behind what we do as leaders.
– The video is not professional… much like our service as volunteers. The interview isn’t polished, the camera is shaky, and there are no makeup artists. It’s just regular folks talking about a mutual passion: reaching out to students through ministry
– It’s a good start for other topical interviews to be done in the future.

Question about Integrity/Purity of Youth Ministry Volunteers

Dennis,

How do you ensure the personal integrity/moral standing of your Youth Volunteer? How do you empower youth workers to work on themselves while removing them from working with youth when an activity they are indulged in (that go against what your group preaches..ie: pre-marital sex, drugs, alcohol, etc) is brought to light?

Thanks again for your kind words and great insight

Youth Worker

Help! Our Youth Pastor is Taking Volunteers For Granted

I got this e-mail today about a youth pastor who frequently changes the program schedule without giving his volunteers enough time to prepare. Here’s the note, see below for my reply. If you have thoughts on the topic, please leave a comment. If you have a question of your own that you’d like to ask, please click here.

Dennis,

I would like to get your feedback on something that I am struggling with at my Church with our Youth Volunteers. I am a volunteer myself and am responsible for most of the communications with our other volunteers.

We work diligently to provide our volunteers with a schedule/calendar of events so they are informed with what is planned. Like I do, many of the volunteers plan their personal vacations and schedules around when we have events planned or when we know we have down time. But we are routinely blindsided by Church Staff changing items/events just days before there date when they have been scheduled for months. This is really starting to have a negative impact with several of the key volunteers and when I speak with our Youth Pastor about it….he pretty much puts it off like “well this is what we have to do”. I completely understand that this is going to happen on occasion, but the regularity of this is really starting to impact the attitudes of key volunteers. Any suggestions or thoughts on how to lessen the impact on the volunteers?