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Dennis

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Free Training

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SimplyYouthMinistry.com puts free training in its weekly newsletter. Many times it is specific to volunteering in youth ministry. They also have specials on their products. I recommend subscribing to this weekly bundle of joy. Sometimes you’ll even see material from VolunteerYouthMinistry.com make its way into the newsletter. Don’t hold that against them, though. 🙂 If you are a youth pastor, you will also find great stuff for your newsletter in their freebie section.

Click here to go to the newsletter

Video Interview: Tom and Marla Talk About Being “Been-There” Parents

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This is part 4 of a 4-part interview with Tom and Marla. In this segment, Tom and Marla talk about some pain in their family and how they used it to help other families seeking help to recover from issues of addiction.

At the end of this video I mention Celebrate Recovery and Life Hurts/God Heals. Click here to link to information on those ministries.

Here are links to the videos in this series:
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Be sure to also check out the brief comments below the video.

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There are a few things I love about this video series:
– It was videotaped by a student volunteer. This was a great way for him to see some of the heart behind what we do as leaders.
– The video is not professional… much like our service as volunteers. The interview isn’t polished, the camera is shaky, and there are no makeup artists. It’s just regular folks talking about a mutual passion: reaching out to students through ministry
– It’s a good start for other topical interviews to be done in the future

Handout for Parents of Students in my Small Group

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Tonight we’re having a meet and greet for small group students and their parents. If you read my post What Parents Need To Know, you’ll remember that I put a high value on what I communicate to parents and how I get the messages across. This is an extension of that concept. You’ll see the principles of that post expressed in this document.

Suicide Risks – Do You Know What To Look For?

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I read a great article today over at YouthMinistry.com about suicide causes, signs and preventative measures. I like that the article is written mostly in bullet points. It makes for easy-to-read-and-absorb information.

I highly recommend reading through the article so you’ll be more likely to see the signs of suicide. Being aware of this information can help us make our ministries free of the environmental risk factors of suicide.

Click here to read the article.

Here’s a clip of what you’ll read:

• According to HopeLine.org untreated depression is the number one cause of suicide.
• Bullied teens are 4 to 8 times more likely to be suicidal, according to a report released by fightcrime.org. Also, children who are victims of direct bullying (name calling, threats, being hit or kicked) and indirect bullying (ignoring, excluding and backbiting) are more likely to have suicidal thoughts than non-bullied children from a study of pre-teens in the Netherlands appearing in the journal Pediatrics.
• Teens who have been teased about their weight are more likely to be suicidal, according to research appearing in the August 2003 Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine.
• Sexually active teens are more likely to attempt suicide compared to their abstaining counterparts (14 percent and 5 percent, respectively), according to analysis of data from the National Longitudinal Survey of Adolescent Health as conducted by the Heritage Foundation.

Learn Before Leaping

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Today I was reminded of the importance of getting facts together before saying something I’ll regret. Somehow better judgment caught me before responding to a person who deserved to be put in his place. Instead of sending my comments to him (this was an online discussion), I sent the thoughts to the other person in the conversation (a youth pastor friend of mine).

It turns out the person I was going to give a piece of my mind to was a former student of my youth pastor friend. He’s been working with this student for a while trying to help him get back on track. My comments wouldn’t have sent him over the edge, but they wouldn’t have been helpful in the relational ministry going on behind the scenes.

I wish I could say I was always this careful. It is a good reminder to get the facts before I speak (or write).

I did come up with this handy quote, though, “Arguing with a fool is like trying to ride a bike without a chain. You’re not going to go anywhere except maybe downhill.”

Volunteer Youth Workers and Social Media

Josh Griffin posted some guidelines all youth workers should keep in mind when using Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc.

Here’s a sample. Click here for the rest.

3 Rules for Small Group Leaders and Facebook

We love that our volunteers are on Twitter and Facebook! It seems like everyone is enjoying the benefits of social networking these days – so it shouldn’t come as a surprise your volunteers are interested or already involved for sure. Most use the technology to their groups’ benefit, though from time to time we’ve had to have conversations and consider removing volunteers for what they put online. At small group training this week I’m going to ask our small group leaders to apply these three simple guidelines when updating social networks:

Remember what you post influences students
Your students are checking out your profile. They look up to you. They are eager to make a connection with you, and since they’re always on Facebook they’ll almost always see what you post. But it is so much more than just seeing – what you say, what you value, what you show yourself doing – it all influences students – the good, bad and ugly. When you give an inch, they may take it a mile. Of course, it works the other way as well, when you use social media positively, it can have a significant encouraging influence on them, too.

Video Interview: Tom Shares Insight About Being a Small Group Leader

This is part 3 of a 4-part interview with Tom and Marla. In this segment, Tom, a 16-year veteran volunteer, answers questions and gives great advice about teaching a small group of high school boys.

Here are links to the other videos in this series:
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Be sure to also check out the brief comments below the video.

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There are a few things I love about this video series:
– It was videotaped by a student volunteer. This was a great way for him to see some of the heart behind what we do as leaders.
– The video is not professional… much like our service as volunteers. The interview isn’t polished, the camera is shaky, and there are no makeup artists. It’s just regular folks talking about a mutual passion: reaching out to students through ministry
– It’s a good start for other topical interviews to be done in the future

Why Do We Do Small Groups in Youth Ministry?

Josh Griffin posted this on his blog. I liked it so I thought I’d share a snippet. Visit his post on MoreThanDodgeball.com for the rest.

4 Reasons Why We Have Small Groups

WISDOM: There is power in an adult life intersecting with students’ lives
There are all sorts of influences in a student’s life – we believe that pairing them with a well-trained, loving leader is a powerful way for them to grow spiritually and taste spiritual community. Someone down the path of life a little further can provide impactful insight, encouragement and warnings in the life of a high school student.

What Parents Need To Know

As I get ready to teach another year of small groups for our high school ministry, I’m thinking through what I want to communicate to parents.

Here’s what I’m thinking:
(see below for my explanation of each item on the list)

1. I want them to contact me
2. I am a safe person
3. I’m not a knucklehead
4. Small group is not a waste of their child’s time
5. I’m teaching their child relational skills for home life

Keep in mind this is not a list of what small group is all about. This is what I want to communicate to parents about me and benefits of their child’s involvement in small group I teach.

1. I want them to contact me. Typically, students don’t want parents invading their space. Small groups fit into the category of personal space. However, when I only know the student, I’m at a serious disadvantage to make a difference in the lives of my students. Students have a tendency to show only what they want you to know. They secretly want to be known on a deeper level, but frequently don’t have the courage to open up. When I take the initiative to connect with parents, I expect to know the students on a much deeper level.

The obvious caution here is to not take sides in issues between students and parents. I don’t want students to see me as a surrogate for their parents. Small group still needs to be a safe place and sometimes a place to escape for a little while from the problems at home.

The red flag to look for is push back from the student. If a student gets angry, scared or embarrassed that I’m connecting with his parents, that’s a clue that there may be a hidden issue they don’t want revealed. This doesn’t necessitate action on its face. It does, however, indicate I may need to concentrate a little extra care on that student.

2. I am a safe person. I am amazed by overly trusting parents. When a parent is hesitant about letting their son hang out with me before they (the parents) know me, I see that as a great sign of wise parenting. Only twice in recent years has this been an issue. I have very direct ways of showing, not telling, parents that I’m a safe person:

1. I keep my promises. I do what I say I’m going to do when I say I’m going to do it.
2. I’m considerate. If Johnny tells me he has football practice early in the morning, I tell the parent he’ll be the first one I drop off if I’m taking students home after an activity.
3. I’m knowable through:

• My blog – I keep this youth ministry blog parents can read to get to know me better
• Facebook – I have my Facebook profile set to where anybody can read it whether or not we’re friends on Facebook. I also send a friend request to parents when I find out they’re on Facebook.
• My reputation – Fortunately, I’ve been a leader in this ministry for 10 years. There aren’t many people in our ministry who don’t have some knowledge of me. They can ask staff, parents, other volunteers or just about any student about me.

3. I’m not a knucklehead. I show I’m not a knucklehead by:

• Not giving authoritative parental advice on subjects I’m not equipped or experienced to address – I can say I don’t know, but here’s some ideas instead of “Here’s what to do”
• Talking to them in a way that makes them feel welcome
• Interacting with them on their level – not same level I interact with their students
• Finding answers to their questions instead of just sending them to a website or giving them the office phone number

4. Small group is not a waste of their child’s time. I communicate to parents the high value of their child’s time with me by sending them home with new perspectives on Christian living and action steps to match.

I don’t care if parents ever hear these words from their child, “Small group was so fun. Our leader is incredibly funny.” If this is all their parents hear, then small group time will be seen as just another way for their kids to postpone homework. While we do have loads of fun and I am the funniest person you could ever meet (have I mentioned I’m known for exaggeration?), I want students taking something deeper from our time together than how fun it was. I want them to communicate through their actions and discussions outside of small group that their hearts and minds are maturing spiritually.

5. I’m teaching them relational skills for home life. When I teach, I am very family-friendly. I include a healthy dose of tips for respecting parents and dealing with family struggles throughout the year. In this way, I partner with parents. Click here and here to read blog posts I wrote on this subject.